I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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