I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
