just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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