me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
