Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Randomize
