im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
