Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
