I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
