sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
