Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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