Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
