Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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