Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we're making bets on your personal life
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
I'm just looking out for you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?