I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake