I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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