he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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