I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just want nice things and good sex
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
