The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
