she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
