Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize