ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
