Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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