As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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