It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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