The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
