Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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