And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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