Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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