i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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