They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.