sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.