Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Shame is for Republicans.
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