I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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