For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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