Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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