Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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