I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize