She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
