Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
