i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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