just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
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