you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize