I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
