i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
