what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
