he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
They took my balls.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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