Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize