Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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