it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
