I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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