that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
