Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
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My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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