she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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