ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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