Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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