Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
