I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
