It's Friday. Sex?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
