if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he fucked my hip out of place.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
