Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
